Practical Lessons

At school,
students attended
Art lessons
and Domestic Science lessons.

These subjects were supposed
to prepare children
for real life.

The teachers believed strongly
in discipline.

Especially the Art teacher.

She became annoyed very easily.

Sometimes before class
had even properly started.

One day,
the students were told
to walk slowly around the classroom
and examine everyone’s paintings.

Afterward,
the teacher selected a girl
to stand up
and announce
which painting was the worst.

The girl became extremely nervous.

She pointed weakly
toward one painting.

The teacher said no.

“It has to be somebody else.”

The girl looked terrified.

She did not want
to insult anybody.

Finally,
in a trembling voice,
she announced
that her best friend’s painting
was the worst.

Her best friend nodded quietly.

Probably because
good friends
should help each other
during difficult situations.

The teacher was satisfied.

The educational purpose
of this exercise
was never fully explained.

Another time,
the Art teacher warned the class
that if students refused to cooperate,
they would be forced
to drink the dirty water
used for washing paint brushes.

Nobody believed
this would really happen.

Probably.

Still,
the warning felt unpleasant enough
to remain memorable
thirty or forty years later.

Domestic Science lessons
were also educational.

The first lesson involved
placing peanut butter and jam
onto toast.

This was considered
an introduction to cooking.

Later,
the teacher warned the students
that if they misbehaved,
they would spend every lesson
making peanut butter toast forever.

The students were not entirely certain
this counted as punishment,
since it already resembled
the normal curriculum.

Years passed.

The student became
a scientist.

Much later,
after too much science,
she somehow wandered back
into art again.

This time voluntarily.

She learned design software.

Laser cutting.
Paper engineering.
Digital illustration.

None of these skills
came from school Art lessons.

Those lessons had mostly taught:

fear,
embarrassment,
and caution around authority.

Oddly,
art itself turned out
to be perfectly enjoyable
once nobody was threatening anyone
with dirty paint water.

The student concluded
that schools were often extremely determined
to teach creativity

without ever becoming interested
in creative people.