Is It Fair?

Fairness sounds simple when nothing important is at stake. Most of us believe people should be treated fairly and that no one should be taken advantage of.

The difficulty begins when fairness asks something from us.

Sometimes the cost is small: a little money, an awkward conversation, the possibility of looking difficult.

Sometimes the cost is much larger: an advantage, an opportunity, a relationship, or belonging itself.

We may recognize unfairness, yet not like what fairness would cost us.

That is when explanations become useful.

This is just how things are.

I did not technically lie.

They never asked.

It is not my responsibility.

Why should I be the exception?

Sometimes Is it fair? is not the hardest question.

We may already know the answer.

But knowing what seems fair does not mean we will act accordingly.

What kind of community do we create when fairness matters only if it works in our favor?